the woes of womanhood in a man's world

If I bit your lip hard enough for it to hurt,
I apologize.
I don't know how authentic it is,
since it was intentional.

I woke up.
the only thing I regretted was not stopping the now very present marks of shame that cover my neck
I try to cover it with makeup,
but I realize that I cannot
It's as if I tainted the vision of perfection,
and single-handedly dissembled what being a lady entails.

You and your big smile
I can accuse the drinks and say that it was a consequence of it,
but that would not count the hour and a half that I spent getting ready
I left my house feeling invincible
There was no one that could stand in your way if you wanted me
I didn’t even have to try
You said everything wrong,
and yet there I was sitting in your car, scheming my own demise. 

so this is what graduation feels like...

I did it,
it being graduated

I sit in my bedroom alone typing,
meanwhile one of sisters is out of state,
and the other is out of the country
My door is locked but if my mom decides to knock,
I jump off my bed and rush to open it
Privacy isn't really a thing in my moms house
She hates it too,
but that's besides the point

Fact: I have less than two hundred dollars to my name
Fact: I'm unemployed and a career is "but a dream" and jobs are scarce
Fact: I used school as an excuse for not having a boyfriend

I graduated so my cover is blown
It's nearly the end of summer but the beautiful California weather has been more unpredictable
If there were an easy button I would push it so I could figure out my next step
The only thing in my future I am certain of is student debt

My room still looks like a tornado flew through it
I have absolutely no intention of cleaning it, to my mother's dismay
I think I should be studying for the GRE,
but my pity party take precedence