dreams in reality

My my my
I remember the time when I thought that dreams could be real
I do not mean that dreams cannot come true
I do mean that people in your dreams are not real

I created a man and he was dream-worthy
He was tall, dark,
and handsome
He was also intelligent and amazing

The problem with dreams is that they cannot exist in my world
I cannot negate the impact of this epiphany
I have an amazing memory
I can recall moments that were once the "happiest moments" of my life

I remember when I was naive enough to think that accomplishments would be enough to find happiness
I remember the role models that I knew
They were strangers whose names were in front of a list of accomplishments I had deemed outstanding I remember having a lengthy list of the things the "perfect man" would do
I remember my checklist of goals to be completed according to my age

Most of my memory and what I knew,
were in the forms of short lists and long lists
These lists were written by me
I wrote out my future shorthand,
and imagined the outcome as if life would follow them,
as if because I had written them,
they would become real